Relatedly: I found this interview with Nicole Kidman where she says she is constantly vulnerable and that always leaves her hurt, but that she needs that for her craft, really fascinating:
"It’s stimulating, ultimately. People go, “It was a brave choice to do this.” I’m like, “No, it would have been devastating not to do it.” It would have been a very, very destructive thing to myself to not do it."
And please, please find ways to communicate and take care during ongoing pandemic so we disabled and sick anti fascists (who desperately miss partying, some of us) can have a piece of the pleasure pie also. I love this and also want to write a companion piece about the loathing for weakness (eugenics) that is the other side of this coin of rigid isolation and fear. A compelling read, as always. <3
Love this! We need connection with others - lots of connections with others, and to have times in flow having fun of all kinds. The pandemic killed that for a lot of us, and we haven't gotten it back. Loneliness is fertile ground for fascism.
it reminds me of when george carlin would go on a rant about how people were over-parenting their kids, focusing too much on their safety, “play dates”, rigidly-planned joy, etc
I love that example of the cat--as much as we're always trying to deny it, I agree that we all probably have those tendencies inside us that turn dangerous in certain moments. I think we forget that we're all susceptible to the kinds of beliefs we often assume are too reprehensible for us to ever fall prey to.
Great message. I have observed this tendency to clam up emotionally in reaction to fear of the other/unknown in myself and others. Its a bad habit to indulge in for all the reasons you explained here. The only thing I truly fear these days is the fascists being allowed to succeed in destroying the counrry and then the world because of their fear and hatred. Where is the accountability? In the Trump era, the concept of shame is seemingly dead replaced with even more selfishness. Being vulnerable and radically accepting of others is harder than ever in todays society but the rewards are still worth it.
I seriously doubt if “the world” is getting scarier. But people do seem to be getting more scared. They are two different things. Once, it is believed, every second person died a violent death. That was scary, but we don’t know if people thought so at the time. In fact they probably didn’t think at all much. The more we think, the scarier it gets.
Relatedly: I found this interview with Nicole Kidman where she says she is constantly vulnerable and that always leaves her hurt, but that she needs that for her craft, really fascinating:
"It’s stimulating, ultimately. People go, “It was a brave choice to do this.” I’m like, “No, it would have been devastating not to do it.” It would have been a very, very destructive thing to myself to not do it."
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/11/movies/nicole-kidman-babygirl.html?unlocked_article_code=1.kk4.c1ih.Di_RgxwGnZtq&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare&tgrp=on
And please, please find ways to communicate and take care during ongoing pandemic so we disabled and sick anti fascists (who desperately miss partying, some of us) can have a piece of the pleasure pie also. I love this and also want to write a companion piece about the loathing for weakness (eugenics) that is the other side of this coin of rigid isolation and fear. A compelling read, as always. <3
would love to read that piece!
This is the best thing I've read in months
Love this! We need connection with others - lots of connections with others, and to have times in flow having fun of all kinds. The pandemic killed that for a lot of us, and we haven't gotten it back. Loneliness is fertile ground for fascism.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today! Be happy or perish!
So good I had to read it twice. Hope you petted plenty of cats today.
it reminds me of when george carlin would go on a rant about how people were over-parenting their kids, focusing too much on their safety, “play dates”, rigidly-planned joy, etc
I love that example of the cat--as much as we're always trying to deny it, I agree that we all probably have those tendencies inside us that turn dangerous in certain moments. I think we forget that we're all susceptible to the kinds of beliefs we often assume are too reprehensible for us to ever fall prey to.
This is excellent; thank you. This essay echoes many claims and arguments I've been making since 2016. It also calls to mind this piece from Molly Crabapple (whose title I've thought of regularly since first reading it): https://www.vice.com/en/article/we-must-risk-delight-after-a-summer-full-of-monsters/
I hope you'll do well and find pleasure this year, P.E.
Great message. I have observed this tendency to clam up emotionally in reaction to fear of the other/unknown in myself and others. Its a bad habit to indulge in for all the reasons you explained here. The only thing I truly fear these days is the fascists being allowed to succeed in destroying the counrry and then the world because of their fear and hatred. Where is the accountability? In the Trump era, the concept of shame is seemingly dead replaced with even more selfishness. Being vulnerable and radically accepting of others is harder than ever in todays society but the rewards are still worth it.
Great as always!! Hope you have a happy new year :)
Hi P.E.,
How do we disentangle Gerber’s spelling out of the “fortress-like psychic condition” from our understanding of “boundaries”?
I seriously doubt if “the world” is getting scarier. But people do seem to be getting more scared. They are two different things. Once, it is believed, every second person died a violent death. That was scary, but we don’t know if people thought so at the time. In fact they probably didn’t think at all much. The more we think, the scarier it gets.