Feb 23Liked by P.E. Moskowitz

First time commenter; I got the email digest that a new article was out, and I only had the chance to skim through, but what was said about psychosis and the experience of it—that really resonated with my own incident and it's relieving to know I'm not alone in the experience.

Thank you for writing and sharing this.

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Feb 24Liked by P.E. Moskowitz

Thank you so much for writing and sharing this. I experienced my first manic episode last summer and had a very parallel experience to yours. I appreciate the nuance with which you talk about the experience--as I’ve sought to read similar experiences from others, I’ve found that most people either describe their mania or psychosis in a sort of embarrassed way that writes off the experience to randomness (“I just went off the rails for a bit”) or, rarely, as some kind of pure spiritual experience that shouldn’t be medicalized (see: “Am I Bipolar or Am I Waking Up?”) My actual experience was like yours--deeply spiritual, meaningful, chaotic, full of symbolism, destructive, and yeah, in parts, shameful and out of character.

So much of the shame and depression that followed for me was due to a lack of opportunity to meaningfully process the experience. My amazing former therapist, who works psychodynamically, literally had no idea what to do with me in a manic state and discharged me as a client after 2 years! She basically freaked out and refused to engage with me on a therapeutic level other than pushing me aggressively toward medical treatment, which I was looking for regardless. I believe that the things we experience in mania and psychosis have some kind of psychological purpose, even if we don’t understand it all yet. I could keep rambling about this, but I’ll stop here. thanks again!

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thanks so much for writing this! so much nuance, compassion, understanding - it feels really helpful to read your integrated perspective while im inside of an experience that sounds like it has a lot in common with what youre describing.

ive always felt really cautious around getting diagnostic labels for myself, and im starting to examine that! if you dont mind me asking, what do you feel like youve gotten out of trying on labels like schizoaffective and bipolar?

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This was so interesting to read! I am not bipolar myself but have gone through long ordeals of dealing with OCD and on a certain level intrusive thoughts make sense on some level to ‘protect’ us I guess.. but mine swerved into delusion territory where I was convinced I was being possessed by demons. The subconscious is so strange truly!!! Also in terms of mental hygiene, what do you do to keep up with this? I like to do meditation and engage with creative hobbies. I have had trouble in the past getting stuck in routines but I’m looking to change that a little. Thanks for your writing :)

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